my life in marysville

hey, blog.

it's been a few weeks, but i'm checking in because i don't want so much of this experience to blaze by without documenting it somehow.

here's the long list of feelings i can recall at this moment in time...

...fear (that no one would show up at our first service or that we'd forget something or fail somehow)
...excitement (dreams coming true and all!)
...disbelief that we were actually starting
...grateful (god has been providing in some pretty incredible ways...almost unbelievable)
...heavy hearted (god brought diane into my life...more on that next blog)
...unsure (where will this crazy adventure take us???)
...soul searching (trying to redefine myself as a lead pastor's wife, mom, and friend in the m-ville)
...lonely (no friends, beyond the family...enough said)
...exhausted (crazy times...up late and up early...all for a wonderful great cause and great to see our efforts have been worth it)
...meaning (i have found meaning again...gift set meets need...how i've missed the ministry part of things...thank u, jesus)

so much has been sacrificed. so much has been given. so much money has been spent. so many conversations have been had. so many tears have been cried. so much sleep has been lost.

if we had the chance to do it all over again, i know we would. we'd probably tweak a few things we have learned along the way, but it has all been worth it. when people actually showed up to our carnival, and more importantly, our service, our hearts nearly beat right out of us...somebody felt prompted to show up...and come back, again...and again...and again. we did something right. we were allowed to be used.

thank u, jesus. it feels so good again. how i've missed it.
more to come...

~kim

:(

sad face.
that is all i can muster.
after years of dreaming,
months of planning,
and weeks of preparing,
Easter has come and gone.
it was a wonderful weekend.
but it has drained me dry.
i am out of energy and it shows.
i can't muster the energy to get out of bed,
to go get my coffee...
to eat,
to engage,
to smile.

to smile?
if you know me at all, you know that is strange.

i have much to celebrate.
a wonderful husband,
fantastic kids,
depth among friends,
a free car,
a dream coming true,
a beautiful home,
love

so...

why the sad face!?

:(

would love to be able to wrap that up in a tiny little package and tell you, but
life isn't wrapped up in neat or tiny little packages.
it's just plain messy.

a little overwhelmed by the messy, today.
finding a lack of tools in which to tidy and clean it up.
so i return to bed.
a comfort so sweet.
and i will try again tomorrow.

meanwhile,

:(

i love this quote

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.


If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.