why is it that our family,
our place of origin,
our foundation,
the family that
changed our diapers,
fed us,
and clothed us
the ones that taught us
to talk,
read,
and to relate...
the family that has spent
money,
time,
and energy raising us
can know so little about us?
can hurt us so deeply?
can cut us to our core?
gross.
not cool.
ugh!
i now create family.
i have learned what i need.
i have treated friends the way i wish my family would treat me.
i love them well.
i celebrate who they are.
i take good care of them.
i like the family i have chosen to surround myself with.
i hope they feel loved, too.
because i love them very much.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
37 i-things
37. i am fun and love to do random, spontaneous things!
36. i love shiny-licious lip gloss
35. i am usually drinking something or have remnants of drinks all around me
34. i love to sit in a coffee shop, alone or with a friend, with no agenda whatsoever
33. i love to hear other people's stories
32. i sometimes love to share my stories
31. i say things i am thinking sometimes without thinking
30. i overcommit
29. i like to play stupid party games
28. i love a theme! - i can't have a party without one!
27. i think i should have my own table at cupz and crepes
26. i love the ikea 'as-is' section
25. i love birthday month!
24. i love celebrating others - especially their birthdays!!
23. i love to wake up in a warm bed and know that i can roll over and go back to sleep :)
22. i love michael scott - not from the office - my man, michael - he really, REALLY loves me!
21. i love a really good hug
20. i love to hold hands with people
19. i love to have painted toes
18. i love, love, LOVE mountain dew
17. i love to touch and feel books at a bookstore and sometimes buy them
16. i love to make up words to songs when i can't remember the words
15. i love taco bell rice with a little sour cream on top...mmmmm good!
14. i love it when someone does something thoughtful for me - i love that they thought of me
13. i love coming home and having my kids greet me with "MOM" and give me big, little people hugs!
12. i love to worship to really good worship songs with my arms stretched out and my eyes closed shut - a place of surrender
11. i love to cook - it is like art - creating with edible mediums
10. i love to buy new shoes, but would prefer to be barefoot
9. i love to create - with paper, with paint, with food, with digital pictures, with decor, whatever
8. i love blueberries
7. i love to sit in the sand overlooking the ocean and remind myself how small i am
6. i love a good road trip
5. i love blue skies and sunshine
4. i love singing harmony
3. i think it is fun to flirt
2. i love to learn new things
1. i never want to be bored with life - l want to live out loud
36. i love shiny-licious lip gloss
35. i am usually drinking something or have remnants of drinks all around me
34. i love to sit in a coffee shop, alone or with a friend, with no agenda whatsoever
33. i love to hear other people's stories
32. i sometimes love to share my stories
31. i say things i am thinking sometimes without thinking
30. i overcommit
29. i like to play stupid party games
28. i love a theme! - i can't have a party without one!
27. i think i should have my own table at cupz and crepes
26. i love the ikea 'as-is' section
25. i love birthday month!
24. i love celebrating others - especially their birthdays!!
23. i love to wake up in a warm bed and know that i can roll over and go back to sleep :)
22. i love michael scott - not from the office - my man, michael - he really, REALLY loves me!
21. i love a really good hug
20. i love to hold hands with people
19. i love to have painted toes
18. i love, love, LOVE mountain dew
17. i love to touch and feel books at a bookstore and sometimes buy them
16. i love to make up words to songs when i can't remember the words
15. i love taco bell rice with a little sour cream on top...mmmmm good!
14. i love it when someone does something thoughtful for me - i love that they thought of me
13. i love coming home and having my kids greet me with "MOM" and give me big, little people hugs!
12. i love to worship to really good worship songs with my arms stretched out and my eyes closed shut - a place of surrender
11. i love to cook - it is like art - creating with edible mediums
10. i love to buy new shoes, but would prefer to be barefoot
9. i love to create - with paper, with paint, with food, with digital pictures, with decor, whatever
8. i love blueberries
7. i love to sit in the sand overlooking the ocean and remind myself how small i am
6. i love a good road trip
5. i love blue skies and sunshine
4. i love singing harmony
3. i think it is fun to flirt
2. i love to learn new things
1. i never want to be bored with life - l want to live out loud
Monday, May 11, 2009
simple things
YOUR “BANK” ACCOUNT
A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed
Each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and
Shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing
Home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move
necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the
Nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.
As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual
Description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been
Hung on his window.
'I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having
Just been presented with a new puppy.
'Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.'
'That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied.
'Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room
or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged. It's how I arrange my
mind. I already decided to love it. 'It's a decision I make every morning when I
wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I
have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be
thankful for the ones that do.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and
all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account
of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.'
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
herein lies my problem...
...sometimes i carry dislike (hatred is so harsh a word) in my heart
...often i fill my mind with worry...could be why i have sleeping problems
...even though i intend to live simply, i complicate my life on a regular basis...why exactly? and how does that happen?
...i give too much sometimes and cost myself time, money, and a plethora of other things along the way...mostly i don't regret giving, but i may need to spread it out a bit or something...i don't know...i get so much pleasure in the giving...there is joy there...happiness for sure!
...expecting less...hmmm...now there is a tough-y...i don't expect a lot from many...but those i depend on, well...i may expect a lot from them. too much? not sure about that...you would have to ask them that.
so i'm good at 1 or 2 of the list of 5. guess i need to spend time expecting less, living more simply and freeing my mind of worry. i love the thought of waking up expecting it to be a good day.
"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time."
"It's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it."
"Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away."
A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed
Each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and
Shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing
Home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move
necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the
Nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.
As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual
Description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been
Hung on his window.
'I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having
Just been presented with a new puppy.
'Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.'
'That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied.
'Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room
or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged. It's how I arrange my
mind. I already decided to love it. 'It's a decision I make every morning when I
wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I
have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be
thankful for the ones that do.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and
all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account
of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.'
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
herein lies my problem...
...sometimes i carry dislike (hatred is so harsh a word) in my heart
...often i fill my mind with worry...could be why i have sleeping problems
...even though i intend to live simply, i complicate my life on a regular basis...why exactly? and how does that happen?
...i give too much sometimes and cost myself time, money, and a plethora of other things along the way...mostly i don't regret giving, but i may need to spread it out a bit or something...i don't know...i get so much pleasure in the giving...there is joy there...happiness for sure!
...expecting less...hmmm...now there is a tough-y...i don't expect a lot from many...but those i depend on, well...i may expect a lot from them. too much? not sure about that...you would have to ask them that.
so i'm good at 1 or 2 of the list of 5. guess i need to spend time expecting less, living more simply and freeing my mind of worry. i love the thought of waking up expecting it to be a good day.
"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time."
"It's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it."
"Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away."
Sunday, May 10, 2009
anxious
(sigh)
ok...so i'm anxious...
anxious about money, our house, mike's job, our future, those depending on us, looking to us, our kids, their security and stability, my job, the stress and frustration it brings, the toll it is taking on my body, mind and even my soul, next steps, immediate steps, future steps...where are the stepping stones, who is going to arrange them, where will the come from, when will they come, where will they lead, where will i fit, how will it feel, what will they look like, what will they require of me, when will i know???
i'm anxious...
need prayer...
give it up, let go, whose in charge? not me! release...relax...recharge...rebuild...rejuvinate..remember! God is in control. Thank God!
(sigh)
ok...so i'm anxious...
anxious about money, our house, mike's job, our future, those depending on us, looking to us, our kids, their security and stability, my job, the stress and frustration it brings, the toll it is taking on my body, mind and even my soul, next steps, immediate steps, future steps...where are the stepping stones, who is going to arrange them, where will the come from, when will they come, where will they lead, where will i fit, how will it feel, what will they look like, what will they require of me, when will i know???
i'm anxious...
need prayer...
give it up, let go, whose in charge? not me! release...relax...recharge...rebuild...rejuvinate..remember! God is in control. Thank God!
(sigh)
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